Dont Look Back In Anger

Yes, I am still alive. My last article was at the beginning of summer while its now the end of summer. My summer was busy with looking for myself and my future. I found it in the form of the University of Applied Science of Amsterdam. Why am I writing this down and how does it have something in common with the title. Let me explain.

For years now I have been writing my debut novel. I finished it a year ago. Tried to publish it. Already have three rejections on my list. Some recent events after that give me some insight to amp up the level of the script. So again I went in and worked on it. Then school began and I had to sit down behind my laptop for different reasons. I’m not worried it will never reach another publishing email inbox again cause a good novel basically writes itself. But why am I so frustrated?

We live in a very blogging age these days which I’m grateful because it allows me to have my own little piece of internet on here. But while my book is getting rejected, a lot of the most popular bloggers are offered book deals. You think this is logical cause bloggers write, so they can write a book as well. Let me burn down this idea completely. Bloggers do have another style of writing. Why is it logical to say that a programmer (”website writer”) can not write a novel. Of course it is said that everybody can write a book but just giving an example of how not logical the blogger thing actually sounds. I’m happy for them honestly. But if a blogger have something usefull to say because they reach a lot of people. Than write something useful in that book and not something we already couldnt find on your blog before. Which I’ve only seen happen by now. ”Oh, sure. Another blogger got a book deal” is a thought that have been through my head to many times this year alone.

I’m not born yesterday, I know we live in a corrupt world and those Publisher need money so why not pull a marketing stunt like that. Sure, be commercial in stead of intellectual. The reason books where invented in the first place. Not that my book makes you smarter but it has more depth than the books the bloggers bring out. Compare those books with Harry Potter for example. Which one matters most to you in life? Which one made you become braver? Which one gave you back the believe in yourself if you might have lost it before?

And thats why I’m angry. Publisher have become more about the money than about the craftmanship. Its naive to think I could change the world, but I can at least try. If they are getting book deals than fine. But at least give me one as well. Like every writer speaking about their baby I dont just have faith in my book but I believe the message my story wants to tell. And even my mom (who knows the library inside out) is thinking about it the same way. And I’m going to be ahead of you by telling that she didnt said that just because I am her daughter. So I’ll go ahead and finish up when I have time and keep fighting for my written voice to be heard.

My name is Lynn and I believe in my story.

– Lynn Kentin