The Last Goodbye

My mom came into my room on a late Thursday evening. ”I just got a call from my brother. We think that grandpa has passed away.” I was warned about this a couple weeks ago. He wasn’t doing so well lately and he often said; I don’t feel like it anymore. My mom raced to my grandpa’s home and I sat in silence in my room for at least an hour. Eventually realizing I didn’t only lost my grandpa. I lost something more.

Its a strange idea that when a person has vanished, that there only memories left. You don’t get to talk to them anymore. You only get to share stories with other people. I panicked at first. Because the first thought that ran through my mind was that I couldn’t remember when I saw my grandpa for the last time. I ended up finding out it was his birthday (I think). Trying to not feel guilty that his birthday was already 1,5 month ago. Because the last time I saw him I at least got to celebrate his life and I’m a lucky grandchild to have had a proper goodbye.

My grandmother already have passed away ten years ago. I have so much respect for him holding on for so long after her. It was such a safe feeling to still be having one grandparent and the old house left. It was a childhood that survived. No more coming into a home that always felt so warm is what makes me sad the most. The no more.

The funeral was incredible beautiful. There was so much peace and tranquillity in everything that we do. My mom and 5 others caring him away from his house. The home where he has passed away in his sleep, while sitting in his favourite chair. The most beautiful way to go when your heart makes one last beat while you’re dreaming of all and everything. The people that spoke during the ceremony. Including me. I wrote a poem for him. I did that for my grandma too, but my mom read it back than because I was so young and so scared. It felt good that I got to do it on my own this time. For him, one last time.

There were some laughs too. Because my grandpa had a lot of humour. Everything went exactly how he wanted and I think we couldn’t have honoured him in any other way. I’m so proud to have called him (and still) my grandpa. He was really the chief of the family, one of the most incredible human beings that I’ve met. Thank you, grandpa. For being so awesome and giving us so many good memories. I’m happy for you that you are with grandma now. You deserved it.

My name is Lynn and I will always remember you.

– Lynn Kentin